Love. Work. Play. Be.
I can make this very easy for you - unless you’re looking for a specific technique ( or arguably even if you’re not ) the only way to tell if your therapist is a good fit is by being in a relationship with them. This can virtual or in person, but we’ve known for a long time that the #1 determining factor in successful therapy is the therapeutic alliance. While a resume may be a starting point, I think you’ll find it’s rarely a deciding factor.
For therapy to work you have to be vulnerable. To be vulnerable you need to feel safe. To feel safe you need to trust. This is the first layer of a deep, intimate, successful relationship that I model. Some people have never experienced this before - the idea that you can be heard, truly and deeply and not be judged, blamed or put in a box. I suggest you interview as many different kinds and types of therapists that you can and go with your gut.
That said - I think techniques and modalities are like tools and I treat every client differently. Everything should be customized to your situation, preference and tolerance.
I have quite a large toolbox - CBT, EMDR, EFT, Psychodynamic, SBT, Existential, Somatics, DBT, blah blah blah. You can drown in acronyms in this profession. Let’s use what works and facilitates change. Change that allows you to live the life you desire and make choices that are authentic to your being and experience.
I have been told I am a bit unorthodox. I use humour and swear from time to time. I disclose things from my own experience if I think they’ll be helpful. I am comfortable in silence and have the belief that you are the expert in you. My foundation is Mindfulness and Neurobiology. I was ordained as a Buddhist in 2000 and lived in Monasteries for years. This is my 5th and last profession. I am a straight white male with cultural humility and justice centered ethos and lifestyle. I have short term and long term clients. I make mistakes and am incredibly human.
All that said, I have been told I am incredibly good at what I do, and I enjoy it.
LMK if you’d like to chat.
If you are experiencing financial hardship, ask about limited sliding scale slots. I hold a few low-demand times for folks in need.
John Jakubowski, LMFT #154296
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist